Thursday, May 18, 2006
Hugsband is going to teach sex ed to his school's 5th grade boys next week. in preparation, he watched the video that the school shows students each year. we were dismayed to see that the video is from the mid-80's and was produced by the good people at 3-2-1 contact. surprisingly, the information covered in the video is still current- menses still consists of tissue shed from the lining of the uterus and such. even more surprising, the hosts of the video do a wonderful job discussing sexual orientation, masturbation, contraception, and other critical topics that have the potential to send parents into a frenzy.
at the school Hugsband and I both attended, sex ed was taught by the gym teachers, not the science teachers. I am not sure whether it's true or not, but when we (the 5th grade girls) met up with the boys in the cafeteria following sex ed instruction, the boys told us that the coach used a baseball analogy to explain penile-vaginal intercourse. that is, the girl is like a catcher's mitt and the boy is like the baseball.
at the school Hugsband and I both attended, sex ed was taught by the gym teachers, not the science teachers. I am not sure whether it's true or not, but when we (the 5th grade girls) met up with the boys in the cafeteria following sex ed instruction, the boys told us that the coach used a baseball analogy to explain penile-vaginal intercourse. that is, the girl is like a catcher's mitt and the boy is like the baseball.
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At my catholic high school down the street from you and Jason, it was our former-nun religion teacher that hosted an entire semester on sexuality.
She used the far more appropriate biblical analogy, saying something to the effect that the woman is like the temple, and the man is like Jesus, running around in there, getting pissed off, and tearing everything up.
She used the far more appropriate biblical analogy, saying something to the effect that the woman is like the temple, and the man is like Jesus, running around in there, getting pissed off, and tearing everything up.
I am going to write down that anaology so I can use it in my therapy sessions with teenage girls.
last night while we were watching 'america's next top model', I yelled "look! it's mike b. ordering that disgusting bowl of chicken!" since we only recently stole our elderly landlords antenna from the basement, this was the first time I saw you on tv. way to go!
last night while we were watching 'america's next top model', I yelled "look! it's mike b. ordering that disgusting bowl of chicken!" since we only recently stole our elderly landlords antenna from the basement, this was the first time I saw you on tv. way to go!
"the woman is like the temple, and the man is like Jesus, running around in there, getting pissed off, and tearing everything up."
Take that, Davinci Code detractors!
Coach Cann was the teacher I had. When he asked the class to list reproductive organs and a kid said "the uterus," Coach Cann replied, "If you're getting up to the uterus, You're really doing something." So that is something for Jason to think about saying if he gets in a jam. (I think the kid that said uterus was named Cheeto.)
Take that, Davinci Code detractors!
Coach Cann was the teacher I had. When he asked the class to list reproductive organs and a kid said "the uterus," Coach Cann replied, "If you're getting up to the uterus, You're really doing something." So that is something for Jason to think about saying if he gets in a jam. (I think the kid that said uterus was named Cheeto.)
I also wanted to say that I certainly didn't have any sex education when I was in the 5th grade. The raciest thing that ever happened in grade school was when, every year on Memorial Day or veteran's Day, the old guy from the VFW said "excuse my language, Sister, but WAR IS HELL."
i heard about 'hump day' from catholic school kids.
i thought it sounded pretty sexy!
also, i think that bowl of crap that mike was eating consisted of way more than just chicken.
lo, it had gravy and mashed potatoes and french fries and cheese and ranch dressing and mustard and chocolate-vanilla pudding too.
cheeto = chris lernerd (says rachel.)
i've already had a kid try to put into words his confoundment over trying to figure out how i go home (knowing all these science words) and "try to have babies" with my wife.
it was awkward.
i thought it sounded pretty sexy!
also, i think that bowl of crap that mike was eating consisted of way more than just chicken.
lo, it had gravy and mashed potatoes and french fries and cheese and ranch dressing and mustard and chocolate-vanilla pudding too.
cheeto = chris lernerd (says rachel.)
i've already had a kid try to put into words his confoundment over trying to figure out how i go home (knowing all these science words) and "try to have babies" with my wife.
it was awkward.
# posted by 
: 5:33 PM
: 5:33 PM
"mr. d, how do you know all of this science stuff, like, words for this stuff, and still....you know? like, you go home and you know the words for all the stuff, and you see your wife, and you just...you know? how do you still make babies"
"jimmy, I am not made of science facts, but of flesh and bone and guts. if you cut me, I do not bleed agar or red grading pens. I bleed blood."
"jimmy, I am not made of science facts, but of flesh and bone and guts. if you cut me, I do not bleed agar or red grading pens. I bleed blood."
# posted by : 8:52 AM
: 8:52 AM
In junior high, they called all the girls into the choir room for something called, "It's Wonderful Being a Girl." It was to teach us about menstruation -- which most of us had already become acquainted with. The class involved a nurse in her upper 80's touching herself a lot -- to demonstrate where certain parts were. They gave us samples of feminine products that they made us walk out of the room with. Most of us dumped them in the flower planter just outside.
In high school, I remember Mrs. Brown showing us that a diaphragm was "spring loaded." As she wagged it up and down, I said, "Make it say something." She used it as a puppet and said "I AM A BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE" in a robotic voice. I was awed.
G
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In high school, I remember Mrs. Brown showing us that a diaphragm was "spring loaded." As she wagged it up and down, I said, "Make it say something." She used it as a puppet and said "I AM A BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE" in a robotic voice. I was awed.
G
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