Saturday, December 20, 2008
Hugsband: I thought of a scam to get a free monkey.
Wifey: oh yeah?
Hugsband: you put up a front like you're running a monkey rescue and make a website with tons of pictures of happy, healthy monkeys who love your rescue. then, you wait for people to call and try to place their monkeys with you.
Wifey: but then wouldn't you get just reject monkeys, like old and sick ones?
Hugsband: no, you could say that you only have space for baby monkeys.
Wifey: I don't know how big the market is for baby monkey rescues. I am pretty sure you're going to get cancerous, feces-slinging, old monkeys.
Hugsband: Nay sayer.
(a couple of minutes later)
Hugsband: I thought of a scam to get a free snow blower.
Wifey: really? how about you think of a scam to get a xmas present for your mom?
Wifey: oh yeah?
Hugsband: you put up a front like you're running a monkey rescue and make a website with tons of pictures of happy, healthy monkeys who love your rescue. then, you wait for people to call and try to place their monkeys with you.
Wifey: but then wouldn't you get just reject monkeys, like old and sick ones?
Hugsband: no, you could say that you only have space for baby monkeys.
Wifey: I don't know how big the market is for baby monkey rescues. I am pretty sure you're going to get cancerous, feces-slinging, old monkeys.
Hugsband: Nay sayer.
(a couple of minutes later)
Hugsband: I thought of a scam to get a free snow blower.
Wifey: really? how about you think of a scam to get a xmas present for your mom?
Sunday, December 07, 2008
we started childbirth classes on thurs night. our class included a motley assortment of people of all demographics, including a girl who can't be older than 16 and at least one couple who are certainly older than us (phew!). this is the basic class offered by the hospital. they provide an overview of procedures, let you handle forceps and vacuum extractors, and show lots of birthing videos.
in this context of health education, I was very surprised to find the following snack offerings:
** packages of those bright orange crackers with peanut butter (OK, pretty gross and high in sodium, but at least there's some protein)
** PRINGLES STICKS (wtf??) in VANILLA flavor (seriously??)
dehydrated potatoes and artificial vanilla flavor, exactly what ShimSham's diet is lacking in.
I was very upset and distracted by this during the entire class.
as class progressed, Hugsband and I somehow caught a bad case of the giggles. we were the naughty kids in the back of the class. except, this wasn't junior year french class where it's perfectly acceptable to make fun of the instructor. this is an Extremely Important Class, and the teacher is the head labor & delivery nurse who has the power to deprive me of good care when I come in to deliver if she thinks I didn't take her class seriously. still, I had a hard time keeping my composure. at one point, the instructor showed a picture of infant twins dressed up like rats (from the Ann Geddes "images of horror" collection, I believe), and we both busted out laughing. I am sure the other students think that we're complete idiots.
in this context of health education, I was very surprised to find the following snack offerings:
** packages of those bright orange crackers with peanut butter (OK, pretty gross and high in sodium, but at least there's some protein)
** PRINGLES STICKS (wtf??) in VANILLA flavor (seriously??)
dehydrated potatoes and artificial vanilla flavor, exactly what ShimSham's diet is lacking in.
I was very upset and distracted by this during the entire class.
as class progressed, Hugsband and I somehow caught a bad case of the giggles. we were the naughty kids in the back of the class. except, this wasn't junior year french class where it's perfectly acceptable to make fun of the instructor. this is an Extremely Important Class, and the teacher is the head labor & delivery nurse who has the power to deprive me of good care when I come in to deliver if she thinks I didn't take her class seriously. still, I had a hard time keeping my composure. at one point, the instructor showed a picture of infant twins dressed up like rats (from the Ann Geddes "images of horror" collection, I believe), and we both busted out laughing. I am sure the other students think that we're complete idiots.
