chicago '08

I have been Hugsband-less since saturday morning. in his absense, I have spent an inordinate amount of time with our landlord, Abe. (Abe is an elderly polish man, who came to the u.s. after avoiding concentration camps by fighting in the resistance in russia. he killed a wolf with his bare hands while hiding in the russian forests.) yesterday Abe and I moved the bird feeders from the side of the yard to the middle. the hope was that the squirrels would not be able to continue their practice of eating all of the bird food by climbing up the fence and leaping onto the feeders, and we would more easily be able watch the birds from inside the house.

Abe and I have a rather shaky relationship. at times, he seems to really like me. at other times, he says rude things and makes no secret of the fact that he disapproves of the amount of housework that Hugsband does. when Abe sees him doing laundry or washing the floor, he asks, "where's your wife?" as if I am shirking my wifely duties. usually, Hugsband can honestly answer that I am at work.

after we moved the bird feeders, Abe asked to look in my mouth. since he makes dental appliances and false teeth for a living, I let him look. I wish I hadn't. he immediately noticed my bridge and spent 15 minutes telling me what an awful color it was. then, consistent with his long-standing pattern of finding the lowest possible price on sundry items-- even if it means he makes enemies in the process, Abe insisted that I get no further dental work without his prior consent. "I want know how much they tell you to pay, and then you don't pay it. you come to me, and I tell them how much you pay." the worst part is, I really need a new bridge and I don't want him to negotiate with my dentist. I just want to get my teeth fixed. Abe will certainly notice when I have new teeth, and he will undoubtedly be very angry that he wasn't consulted. just like he was mad when I bought potting soil and didn't just dig up the yard to replant my bromeliads. "americans are so stupid wasting money."

on the kind of plus side, the feeder move was a mixed success. we can see the birds much more easily than before, but those sneaky squirrels have already figured out how to scale the pole to get to the goods. another plus, the new feeder arrangement lured an escaped parakeet into the yard. she's taken up with a bunch of house sparrows, and I am determined to catch her before the summer is over and she freezes to death. if I could just figure out how...

by the way, Hugsband didn't divorce me or anything. he's visiting family in illinois. I think he should come home now, though. enough is enough! I have laundry that needs washing.