Sunday, December 07, 2008
we started childbirth classes on thurs night. our class included a motley assortment of people of all demographics, including a girl who can't be older than 16 and at least one couple who are certainly older than us (phew!). this is the basic class offered by the hospital. they provide an overview of procedures, let you handle forceps and vacuum extractors, and show lots of birthing videos.
in this context of health education, I was very surprised to find the following snack offerings:
** packages of those bright orange crackers with peanut butter (OK, pretty gross and high in sodium, but at least there's some protein)
** PRINGLES STICKS (wtf??) in VANILLA flavor (seriously??)
dehydrated potatoes and artificial vanilla flavor, exactly what ShimSham's diet is lacking in.
I was very upset and distracted by this during the entire class.
as class progressed, Hugsband and I somehow caught a bad case of the giggles. we were the naughty kids in the back of the class. except, this wasn't junior year french class where it's perfectly acceptable to make fun of the instructor. this is an Extremely Important Class, and the teacher is the head labor & delivery nurse who has the power to deprive me of good care when I come in to deliver if she thinks I didn't take her class seriously. still, I had a hard time keeping my composure. at one point, the instructor showed a picture of infant twins dressed up like rats (from the Ann Geddes "images of horror" collection, I believe), and we both busted out laughing. I am sure the other students think that we're complete idiots.
in this context of health education, I was very surprised to find the following snack offerings:
** packages of those bright orange crackers with peanut butter (OK, pretty gross and high in sodium, but at least there's some protein)
** PRINGLES STICKS (wtf??) in VANILLA flavor (seriously??)
dehydrated potatoes and artificial vanilla flavor, exactly what ShimSham's diet is lacking in.
I was very upset and distracted by this during the entire class.
as class progressed, Hugsband and I somehow caught a bad case of the giggles. we were the naughty kids in the back of the class. except, this wasn't junior year french class where it's perfectly acceptable to make fun of the instructor. this is an Extremely Important Class, and the teacher is the head labor & delivery nurse who has the power to deprive me of good care when I come in to deliver if she thinks I didn't take her class seriously. still, I had a hard time keeping my composure. at one point, the instructor showed a picture of infant twins dressed up like rats (from the Ann Geddes "images of horror" collection, I believe), and we both busted out laughing. I am sure the other students think that we're complete idiots.
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We used to have to do in-service educational thingies for dental hygiene while we were in school. One of these was at a kid's museum, where they had set out "healthy snacks," and insisted on serving Goldfish crackers and pretzels. Both of which are chock-ful of white flour and sugar, which is really excellent for building plaque fast.
Chris and I attended a breast feeding class that was completely ridiculous. I took one look at the instructor's open-toed footwear and knew we were in for a lot of crunchy advice. She insisted that we should feed the baby whenever hungry, even if it is "every ten minutes." Right. Timed feedings kept me sane and the baby full, thank you. Also, she kept demonstrating the baby throwing her mouth open "to take a BIG MOUTHFUL OF BREAST," and did this again and again. We got the giggles, too. It was gross.
Chris and I attended a breast feeding class that was completely ridiculous. I took one look at the instructor's open-toed footwear and knew we were in for a lot of crunchy advice. She insisted that we should feed the baby whenever hungry, even if it is "every ten minutes." Right. Timed feedings kept me sane and the baby full, thank you. Also, she kept demonstrating the baby throwing her mouth open "to take a BIG MOUTHFUL OF BREAST," and did this again and again. We got the giggles, too. It was gross.
Yes! I'll always recall our instructor making gestures with her hands that were demonstrating exactly how the baby latches on and breast feeds. It was very creepy. If I ever want to make Gina throw up, I'm nearly positive that that hand motion will do the trick.
I just remember that we were the rabble-rousers. Ya. Rabble-rouser. I said it. So?
Anyhow, we just kept asking questions that were basically our way of saying "We've never had any kids, true, but we still kind of think that you're full of crap. Here's why..." and then we'd put her on the spot with questions.
The instructor would then proceed to give a five minute rebuttal which in no way addressed our question. Just sort of skirted the issue. Annoying.
- C
I just remember that we were the rabble-rousers. Ya. Rabble-rouser. I said it. So?
Anyhow, we just kept asking questions that were basically our way of saying "We've never had any kids, true, but we still kind of think that you're full of crap. Here's why..." and then we'd put her on the spot with questions.
The instructor would then proceed to give a five minute rebuttal which in no way addressed our question. Just sort of skirted the issue. Annoying.
- C
So NO ONE else thought twins dressed as rats was hilarious/terrifying?! You are the sane ones...
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: 12:55 PM
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